Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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