Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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