My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's Friday. Sex?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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