She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
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She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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