I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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