You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
