Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize