This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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