I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
