Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
