it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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