Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
