i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
