My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
