meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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