if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
