i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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