we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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