this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
