i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
