Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Your penis caused this!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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