He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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