My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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