i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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