No, you can still breathe under the balls.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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