You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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