so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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