i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Did I show you my penis last night?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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