Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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