I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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