I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Randomize
