Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
