She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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