i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
