my mouth tastes like poor choices
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
