I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
