I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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