her vagine was all disorganized.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
vagina is talking i cant
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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