Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
