Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
