whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the high leading the old right now
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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