I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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