In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
