He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
