why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We're not piercing ourselves today.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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