But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
