thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
