drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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