I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
