If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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