I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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