i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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