I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
