yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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