i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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