I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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