I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
