then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
