Where did you get a picture of my penis
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
