what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
