Sponge bath it is.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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