Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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