she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
