This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
