We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
