***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
