Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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